Recap of night 1 below.
For the first time ever - and god only knows why - the
American Kennel Club added cats to
its “Meet the Breeds” event at the Javits Center leading up to the 141st
Westminster Dog Show. I can only imagine the backstage commentary when the
show’s raison d’etre became aware of
this development.
Boston terrier: Does anyone smell a cat? I swear I smell a
cat.
The
entire hound group: 127 cats. Caught
their scents on the train when we were still in New Jersey. 38 long-haired, 70
short-haired, 19 hairless.
Miniature
poodle: Hairless? Hairless cats?! Boy,
those must be dumb looking.
Labrador retriever: *rolls eyes*
Affenpinscher: Why are they here? I can take ‘em! … Are any
of them bigger than me? I can take ‘em!
Mastiff: It’s part of the AKC’s diversity and inclusion initiative.
Border
collie: Let’s herd the cats! Let’s herd
the cats!
Clumber
spaniel: I will pretend I did not just
hear you say that. Smartest dog breed. Psssh.
Media coverage for the show has moved from longtime
broadcaster USA Network (owned by NBC) to Fox Sports. This has produced a
variety of changes.
In the plus column:
·
Mary Carillo is gone. Most consider her a legend
in sports broadcasting, particularly in tennis. I thought she made Brent
Musburger sound articulate and elegant by comparison. (Yeah, I know. We’re
having a “shoot the pink elephants day” here in North Carolina.)
·
The onscreen text has finally quit identifying
the dogs by their AKC registered names, e.g. GCH CH Cottage Lake’s Our Lady of
Fatima (I did not make that up). I get that those names are useful to
identify the breeder and can apparently reference the bitch or sire, but:
a) No
one calls their dog by that name; and
b) Dog
attention spans for complex sentence structure range from “toddler” to “are you
still talking?”
Happily, both the text and the
announcers now refer to the dogs by their everyday call names, e.g. Boozer.
In the still needs improvement column:
·
Fox has added a backstage reporter, whose
functions seem to include (a) cutesy to the point of cringe-inducing gushing
over the dogs; and (b) service of the peculiarly millennial need to be updated while watching the dog show on the social
media activity of other people watching
the dog show.
·
Over the years there has been breed inflation at
Westminster, with 202 breeds now eligible to compete in 7 groups for best in
show (kind of like the Winter Olympics adding events from the X Games). Six
hours of primetime TV coverage over two days is trying for even the most
shameless of dog lovers (raises hand). Take a lesson from the flagging
viewership of the Grammy’s and Oscars. Please shorten it.
Hound Group
Motto (and fair
warning): “You can take the dog out of the hunt, but you can’t take the
hunt out of the dog.”
Celebrity member:
The Irish Wolfhound - the breed you often see strolling through the background
in BBC miniseries. Imposing and regal, they were favorites of Irish monarchs
and English nobility.
The “don’t try to
upstage the dog” award goes to: the (professional) handler for the Basenji,
who was wearing a navy blue and white, multi-pattern plaid suit. Looked like
the mobster in a Bugs Bunny cartoon. You could almost hear the dog mumbling, “Don’t
run next to me. It’s too embarrassing.”
Winner: Duffy,
the Norwegian Elkhound, who barked happily at the crowd after being awarded the
group ribbon.
Toy Group
*Sigh* Centuries of breeding to be companion dogs has
bred most of the classic “dog” characteristics out of them. Cute and cuddly,
they tend to sport expensive hairdos and have owners who dress them in actual
clothes. The genuinely good, humorous and loving nature of these dogs means
they tolerate – perhaps even appreciate – such indulgence.
Seriously, just get
a cat: The commentators describe several of the breeds as having a “cat
like nature” because they are fastidious, licking and grooming themselves to
keep clean. Owners of Labrador Retrievers everywhere laugh hysterically.
Oooh, awkward: In
front of a (not even close to) capacity crowd at Madison Square Garden, and
perhaps tens of thousands of TV viewers watching from home, the handler for the
Brussels Griffon tripped and face planted on the astro turf as they were entering
the ring. Narrowly avoiding squashing the dog. Maybe you want to try handling
Great Danes, who would at least laugh that off?
And then this
happened: After being removed from the podium, the toy fox terrier was to
begin his star turn around the ring. The dog abruptly stopped, and began to
hunch down into a squat (recognized by every dog owner on the planet), refusing
to be budged despite several nervous jerks on his lead. Gail, the color
commentator, tried to cover: “Oh, ha ha. The dog is being stubborn. Typical for
the breed.” The handler – no doubt in a blind panic - tugged again. The dog
looked annoyed, but gamely resumed its trot around the ring. Pandemonium
avoided. (He did not make the finals.)
Winner: Chuckie
the Pekingese. Looks like a dog made out of dryer lint.
Non-Sporting Group
20 breeds; 10 best in show winners, almost all of which
have been poodles.
The miniature and standard poodle are in this group. The national
dog of the French. Thus, the stupid looking haircut.
No, really:
Poodles are tremendously smart and loyal dogs. Bred to hunt as water retrievers
by the Germans, their heavy, curly coats were trimmed close to the body to be
manageable when wet, with the full coat left around the joints for insulation.
The dogs became popular in France, and by the early 18th century the
previously utilitarian cut had evolved into an elaborate pompadour on the head (mimicking
the style popular at the time of Louis XVI) with fur bracelets on the legs and
a pompom on the tail.
Winner: A
miniature poodle named Aftin. Qu’elle surprise.
Overplaying the
role: “Handlers develop a special bond with the dogs. They become so close
that they can read each others minds.” I can read my dogs minds too. “Give me
your cheeseburger.” “Quit hogging the couch.” “I don’t know who chewed the
fringe off that rug.” It’s not like they do vector calculus in their heads.
Herding Group
Even the announcers were beginning to get tired by the
time the herding group took the ring. Several of the dogs were visibly agitated
during the judging.
Winner: Rumor,
the spectacular German Shepherd, wins the herding group for the second year in
a row.
Best dog names of the night:
Pixie Dust
Wink
Slick
Lazarus
Cat
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